THE ITALIAN JOB: There are difficulties to living in another culture

(SPOILER ALERT - Minor plot reveal at the end of this!)

 I saw GIRLS episode five, season five this morning and it cut close to the bone.

In the episode, Shosanna has a moment where she realises that is tired of Japanese culture and wants to go home to America. While I am not American or in Japan, I can understand the feeling. In fact, I could have cried because its so easy as a TEFL teacher in a foreign land to feel this way.

I think its a common thing while your living in another country and away from home. I love Italy but there are times where I want to hear another Irish accent so badly.  I don't think I had been expecting to miss home as much as I did.

I missed Ireland so much when I was in England but since the two cultures were alike it was easy to forget about it. I could speak the language and it was fine! Here, I find things about Italy so different and strange sometimes. I also struggle a lot with the language which doesn't help.

This is not to say that I don't love it here because I do. I think its a common thing and a relatively unspoken thing about doing TEFL as a job that you miss home and get a little tired.

Here are some of the things that can get you down:

1 - Language
I will say that it is exhausting being in another country where you don't speak the language. I find sometimes when I come from work, I am so exhausted from trying to speak, translate and relate to words I have never heard before. This surprised me as I had never come across this before I came here. Mind you, I always lived in English speaking countries apart from holidays. So when you have to struggle with the language every day for months then you start being tired and start longing for conversation in your own language.
I can hear and understand more Italian then I can speak which means being out is difficult and embarrassing. Sometimes, its easier to stay in and just be with myself or the internet because I don't have to go through the routine.

2 -  Food
I'm lucky and unlucky with Italian food. I am lucky that it isn't a big culture shock like moving to Japan as you realise you hate sushi or noodles! But, it is a culture that is dependent on grains for pizza, pasta and breads. So I struggle a lot to get the right product. Also, gluten free is expensive here in supermarkets. I'm not being a 'gluten free dick' (you know one of those people on the GF bandwagon) but I am a coeliac so I have to do this. I do find that I miss other types of food here and I get fed up of pasta from time to time. I found myself craving a full Irish fry up recently.
This lasts until I walk into a shop and get served gorgeous coffee or beautiful vegetables.

3 - Cultural differences.
Again, I am aware that the cultural differences between Italy and England are not as pronounced as Japan to English culture but still. There are different ways of doing things here that I am just not used to! Some of the cultural things I find very surprisingly, like how catholic it is here.
Researching ahead of your journey will only get you so far but experiencing it can be totally exhausting. I find that I worry a lot about doing the right thing and not offending anyone. It's easy to let that overtake you. I also miss my culture and way of doing things too.

4 - Being different physically.
I speak as a tall woman in a land where I am surrounded by beautiful, stunning tiny Italian women. I know there are some tall women out there but Italian women seem to be shorter then me. I am 6ft which even in England is tall. I know that in proportion, I am a lot taller then most women here. I also look 'big' too. I've been asked in places what height I am before.  I also get stared at, a lot. It's unnerving. This is one of the cultural differences I find strange. I come from Ireland/England where you would be embarrassed to be caught staring at someone or looking at someone. Here, they look, stare and openly examine you. It is very hard for me as I struggle with eye contact as it is!!! There is literally nothing you can do to change this. You are who you are. I have another friend who is a gorgeous red head in Dubai!

 

As I said, I felt completely for Shosanna when she (SPOILER ALERT) cried in the cafe to the American lady who used to be her boss. I felt every word that she said. Sometimes, you want to go home so badly and see another Irish/English/American person who shares something you do. 

No one wants to feel alone or like a stranger. I can totally understand where she was coming from. 

The thing with TEFL is, its such a great experience in that you get to see this culture in the first place but it is hard. Acknowledging how hard it is to be one culture living in another is half the battle.

Learning where your community is or scheduling trips home helps. I also suggest fighting the urge to stay home all the time. If you go out, meet, greet and learn then you break down the barriers to being in another country. It gets easier and easier to deal with. 

Again, I know that I don't have it even half as hard as some TEFL teachers who are based in China or Nepal do. I am still Irish living and dealing with Italian culture. Luckily, the Italians bloody love the Irish so I get a lot of smiling when they hear where I am from and also, the place is riddled with Irish bars. 

I also got to celebrate St. Patrick's day this year with my students who are all awesome and tell them a bit about my culture. I am now about to go home for the first time since Christmas for a week and be amongst my friends, family and show my boyfriend why I am so proud of my hometown. 

I don't think if I had stayed in Ireland when I was 26 that I would have thought that. So I am really proud that I went to Nottingham and now Foligno. Who knows where else?

I do know, I am mad jealous of Shosh in Japan.