Better living through alchemy

kandamakeup Haziran 22, 2022

They're in every home and shop in the land: paper packets full of powders and tablets, glass bottles of unguents and solutions, pots of foul-smelling pastes. Everyone swears by the alchemical products of the elves, many bearing the familiar red sign of the Three Spoons company, makers of those horrid pills your grandmother used to make you take. They're an old-fashioned product for a scientific age.

They don't always work. Some of them never work. In fact, it's unclear if alchemists have had any real success since inventing gunpowder.

Most magic isn't real. But every once in a while it turns out to be true. Maybe most alchemical solutions are phony, but there's that one gooey liquid that actually turns iron into gold. Maybe most monsters are just rumors, but the spiny tree-goat turns out to be real.

Signs in the Wilderness is a setting full of rumors and superstitions. Most of them are false, but just enough of them are true that you can't afford to dismiss any out of hand. I like a truth rate around 20%, low enough you can rail against superstitious yokels, but high enough there's always a nagging worry in your mind.

When you find some alchemical product on a shelf, check to see what it is:

Form (d20)
1-4	powder in a paper envelope
5-7	envelope of tablets
8-10	thin liquid in a glass bottle
11-13	thick, goopy liquid in a glass bottle
14-15	pot full of thick paste
16-17	dark glass bottle of pills
18-19	solid block to be crumbled up or dissolved, wrapped in paper
20	something immersed in liquid

Hopefully the label (or some handwritten note) says what this stuff is supposed to do:

Purpose (d10)
1-4	medicine	(d8) 1-2: cure a particular ailment, 3-4: heal a wound, 5-6: avoid a future health problem, 7: give energy / prevent sleep, 8: dangerous longevity treatment
5-7	flammable	(d8) 1-3: works like gunpowder, 4-5: firestarting material for wet wood, 6-7: explosives, 8: stuff ignited by water/air
8-9	miscellaneous	(d8) 1-3: substance that glows for a while, 4-5: help crops grow, 6: caustic acid that eats through just about anything, 7: very strong glue, 8: treatment for a tool/weapon to make it tougher
10	transmutation	turn one substance into another (d8, roll twice) 1: some kind of stone, 2: water, 3: ash/sand, 4: glass, 5: air / flammable gas, 6: iron, 7: mercury, 8: gold

This stuff is difficult to work with. The reason might be marked on the label, but it might not:

Problem (d6)
1	must be kept away from light/heat/moisture
2	fragile, has a reaction if shaken/broken
3	ridiculously flammable
4	terrible stench, gives off noxious fumes
5	stains anything it touches
6	more poisonous than you'd like

The big question is how useful this stuff actually is:

Effectiveness (d8)
1-3	It doesn't actually do anything. People say it's working, but in a way you can't see, or that it takes more time, or that you just got a bad batch, or that you need to mix it with something else (that actually works).
4-6	It does just a little of what it's supposed to to, but it causes some harm/damage that's small or temporary enough that you might put up with it. People say that's how you know it's working.
7	It does what it's supposed to, more or less, but it has an additional Problem.
8	It works as advertised, but it (d6) 1-2: is no longer manufactured, 3-4: is very expensive, 5: is all that's been made so far, 6: will cause an unwanted result days or months after use.

Products like these are common in elven settlements, as well as anywhere among people who trade with the elves. The further you get from the elven cities, the rarer alchemical products are.